The Pre Princess Diaries

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts....

Today, I went shopping. Two hundred and twenty eight dollars plus change, and four bras later, I am now privy to Victoria's Secret. Apparently Victoria thinks DDs need a push up bra that will catapult them into Fs and Gs. To this I say, why? I tried one on, lovely salmon coloured thing, didn't just make me look perky, or voluptuous. I think projectile might be more the word. Because my thus contained girls would fire through that door long before my arms could reach to push it open, and annihilate everyone and everything in their path.
After many, many bras that lifted and separated everything into lethal weapons, I finally hit upon the perfect bra. The one with memory foam. Which suits me fine because the girls no longer remember which way is up. Now they have help.
And that was my day. Wait for it... ta ta for now!